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PGA Chaplain Bible Studies

Study 34 – November 12th - 18th 2007.
Reading – John Chapter Ch11: verses 28 to 37.

“Jesus wept” John Chapter 11: verse 35. (Good News Bible)

Real Men Never Cry?

I am trying to think of how many times in my life I have tried to fight back tears and they have been too many times to count? There are times when it may be appropriate to fight them, but the main reason for this as a male is that it is not the thing for a man to do. Times are changing and I still remember the tears of our former Prime Minister Bob Hawke on national TV and how in recent times this stereotype is weakening.
Perhaps you can remember being told not to cry as I was, something that I now regret. Be strong I was told, don’t be a wimp.

Our reading today from verses 28 to 37 of John Chapter 11 contains a lot of emotion and grief. Tears flowed. When Jesus arrives in Bethany after Lazarus had fallen ill and died he first meets Martha who had gone out of the house to meet him. Her sister Mary later rushes out of the house to greet Jesus when she hears he has arrived. Mary’s grief at the loss of her brother Lazarus spills over when she meets Jesus. She also expresses her sorrow and disappointment at Jesus being delayed in coming as he in her mind could have prevented Lazarus from dying. Seeing her weeping and grief and that of others around him sends Jesus into crying as well. Hence the shortest verse in the bible, two words, “Jesus wept”. Jesus asks to be taken to the tomb.

In Jewish culture weeping was an acceptable part of life, unlike our own. They showed their grief in practical ways such as tearing of garments, beating of breasts, wailing and pouring of ashes over ones head. They also had times set aside to mourn and deal with loss and pain.

Weeping is an emotion that can happen also when we are successful. How many champions in sport have lifted up the trophy and you can see how they are fighting back tears. But why not let the emotions have their place?
What a joy it is to see someone crying and releasing all that built up emotion when they are successful. It even brings to tear to my eyes, but what a shame we try to hide this.

And how helpful it is when we grieve and weep, rather than live in denial and try to be strong. I have been told crying is a healing therapy; that I can believe.

I remember vividly the time in 1985 when life got the better of me. I was so strong in living out the motto real men never cry. But when hurt with criticism in my ministry, my relationship with my wife going through a testing time and my whole world falling apart the day came when I broke down and wept uncontrollably for some time. I was driving and had to pull over and flooded the car with my tears. Since then I have learnt the value of shedding a tear and letting out my emotions, but I still find it awkward and feel vulnerable.

However I have come to believe now that real men do cry, that to be masculine does not include ignoring our need to shed a tear.
Some are worried that we can be too emotional, but to be emotionless is a health hazard.

Jesus shows how human he is as he weeps with the family and sees the pain that is in their hearts. The good part of this account is coming as Jesus has the power to overcome the cause of their grief. 

Prayer,
Gracious God thank you that you can weep with us in our pain and through Jesus to bring healing in our lives.  Amen.

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